Quotes to ponder

"For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit… start whenever you want… you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

Benjamin Button

"If you are coasting, it means you are going downhill."
- C.P. Fulord Jr.

"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself." ~ Anais Nin

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." ~ Kahlil Gibran

Wanted:

I am at my lunch right now, and as I look outside and let my mind wander - my heart hurts a little from missing Europe. I miss Florence, I miss the sites, the way of life - the vespas. This baby WILL be mine - someday.



Also... I would love love LOVE

I love summer

All pictured taken by moi:
1. 119, 2. 100, 3. 087, 4. Blooming

Epic fail

I have been pretty quite on the blogging front. Lately I have felt uninspired to write, to take photo's to do anything really besides work, eat, sleep, watch tv, and hang out with fiance family and friends. Yes I have had my moments for myself - but really haven't been using my time constructively. I have come to a point where I am "getting by" which is completely pathetic. I have bought this amazing new camera and an amazing new bag to use as it's home and I haven't had time to... correction - haven't made time to figure it out and play with it. I want so badly to explore with it, become friends, talk with it - tell a story... I know you may not understand but finding a creative outlet helps. I use to write all the time. Short stories, poems, silly haiku's - but I have ventured so far off. I have even come to a pit stop with my blogging. It's not that I don't want too - I just don't and I don't fully understand why.

I've come across so many blogs that inspire me, inspire me to write, to talk about what's really going on - to take photos and get involved with my camera and how it works and what it can do - to find the courage to try to sell photos I capture... it's all so scary. To try to put yourself out there, to try to succeed at something to try to have people understand. I wake up in the morning and I get so jazzed for the day (a day without work that is) I wake up thinking I have this whole day to myself! So I quickly lay out an ideal day...

1. I would work out. I would work on the elliptical, do some strength training - possibly get back in the pool where I use to LOVE to be... =(
2. I would get a smoothie then lay by the pool get a tan, jump in for a quick dip.
3. I would change and head out with my camera in tote.
4. Spend the afternoon snapping pictures and posting them.
5. I would have an amazing lunch at an outdoor venue so I could people watch. I would get something light with a glass of wine.
6. I would then go to the bookstore and read for a while.
7. Come home write a little.
8. Make myself an amazing dinner that was healthy and delicious.
9. End my day watching a movie.

But reality sinks in, that I am trying to hang onto a job for dear life so I stress all day, do my best - but ultimately kick myself in the ass multiple times, talk bad to myself because obviously nothing I ever do is good enough... all this negative talk is exhausting so I end of leaving for home dragging... I get home, to tired to want to exercise, take pictures, or read so I eat dinner and vege in front of the TV. It's pathetic. I want to find that balance again. That freedom and time I once had.

So to get the best of both worlds - and obviously not putting more on plate than I can handle I am enrolling in a photography class. A photography class that I will get a grade in. This is how I will be able to continue to work but have something that defines me more than work. Does that make any sense? I can't keep going on the way I am going and expect me to be happy. I don't tick like that, what makes me tick is making true, honest pure time for myself, and if that means enrolling in a class because that's what I know - SO be it.

You can always tell where I am at in my life - aka how I am feeling with how my car, purse and room looks and all are pretty lame right now. Again, I haven't even had time/energy to respond to my own personal e-mails and calls let alone pick up a tshirt off the floor. So to rectify this situation I met with a nutritionist/wellness coach to discuss my issue with lack of energy which leads me to my issue of lack of time. I am in the beginning stages so I don't have a lot of feedback to share with you at this time, all I know is she is phenomenal and I can't to work with her more.

I feel better already, making the time regardless of how tired I am at 1140pm at night I did it and I feel better. With that being said, goodnight friends, goodnight Internet... I hope to restore my love of writing to share with you all again...

Working for the weekend

So happy that it's Friday! After a stressful week at work that also involved a lot of manual labor I am excited to enjoy a stress free, lazy, fun weekend.

Today, Mike and I are hanging out - probably going to do nothing, but that is what I love about us - we are perfectly content being wraped up in each others arms watching a movie, or taking a nap... it's so easy with him.

Saturday morning going to get some errands and laundry done then at 3:00 Jenn and I are going to a friends house for a girls day. I plan on making a fruit dip and possibly some yummy sangria.

Sunday plan on doing some more errands, catching up on some reading and e-mails then I am heading over to Mike's to watch True Blood. (LOVE THAT SHOW!)

So there you have it!

P.S. OOh! I also saw Transformers last night with my dad, it was AWESOME!

Quote

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, tp find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even one life breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!

Emerson

Favorite Things

My Favourite Things from kidswithcrayons on Vimeo.

Found here

No title

I have fleeting moments where I feel like I am going to loose it. Aka - fly off the rocker, go off the deep end, - etc etc. I think a lot of it is because I just haven't had any time off - in a long time. No week off - no day off. It's been an on the go for 2 1/2 years and quite frankly im tired. Emotionally, physically, mentally. And really it doesn't show signs of stopping.

I am meeting with our 2nd potential photographer tonight, and honestly, i dont really care. Not excited about listening to these people who think they know me, who think they know what I want... let's be honest - you just dont - so let's not pretend. I dont know.

So there you have it. Im tired, im crabby, and I want to take a nap.

Good day.

Give me novacaine...

I have definetly been out of the blooging loop. I have been so busy though from working like a fiend - going on walks - heading to Portland for a business trip and then some more working.

With all this work, busyness, and being on the go - it amazes me to tell you I dont have much to update you on.

I came in after midnight on Friday from Portland and pretty much went to bed, on Saturday my aunt blew my hair out and Mike and I went to a co-workers wedding and danced the night away, and today I hung out with Kristin and Katie - we laid out in the sun and listened to some tunes. After I headed over to Mike's and had dinner and we watched the season premiere of True Blood.

Other than that - thats about it. I definetly have been feeling discontent and out of whack. I think it's a combination of work, the traveling and overall being an emotional wreck. I dont know. Don't judge me.

Le sigh. Well it's off to another week.

Marcella

My mom is known for writing about individuals on their birthday - talking about how they met - or significant things about this person. Well I decided to write a few things about my mom, in honor of her birthday today.

I am not just saying the things I am going to say because she is my mom - but because they are 100% true and honest and are simply her. So here is to you Mom. The most wonderful person in the world. Someone I admire and aspire to be someday.

When I was younger, adolescent/pre teen/beginning of my teens - my mom was very strict. I always new when she was angry with me because she gave me this look - I turned to my friend Kristin and said "Come on Kristin, let's go, my mom is giving me the fish eye" When I asked her why I couldn't do all the things my girlfriends were doing at the time like spending the night at the skating station for their all night skate or going to the mall alone with a girlfriend she would always respond with a "I'm not your friend Maria, I'm your mother" and as all my friends were going off and doing fun things like getting their hair highlighted and kissing boys she would smile at me and say "don't be in such a hurry to grow up maria." And she was always right. Even though at the time, I resented that she wouldn't allow me to go out and do the things I wanted - I am glad now. The values, ethic, morals ... she has instilled in me have really paid off and I thank her for that.

Now that I am older my mom and I have become friends. In fact just the other day we went for pedicures and got some new perfume. I look at her and cant believe what a wonderful person she is. She had my brother and I at a younger age because she wanted to start a family and be a mom - but in doing so she put a lot of what she wanted on hold for her family. She raised my brother and I - she was always there when we got home from school, always had a warm meal on the table and to this day is always up for cuddling. The woman for all her life has always been taking care of someone - when she was younger helping take care of her siblings, when she got a little older her kids and now after 2003 when my Nano passed away her and my dad moved us into her house and has been helping take care of her. Taking her to her appointments, taking her to the store to walk... it hasn't always been easy but let me tell you - she does it all. She is amazing.

People always tell me we looks alike and we act alike - and although she disagrees with the looks (that I look like my dad) but let me tell you if I could look half as good as she does at her age i'll be pretty damn happy. My mom and I share a couple things in common. We have the same warped sense of humor. It's dry, sometimes sarcastic and often we find we take a little joke and carry it out far over the line than it should be - but that's just what we do. Her humor is incomparable - she can make light of any situation no matter how awkward or sad which has helped many of our family members and her friends. We also have the same outlook on life most of the time -that life is too short to do things you don't want to do - always smile and laugh - always do the right thing, karma is a bitch yadda yadda yaadda.

She is a truly caring and selfless person even if she tries to tell you she is not. Her how life has been about helping others, giving them the right words, listening, understanding and making people laugh. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her in my life because she does make my life better. I am so glad that she is not only my mother - but one of my best friends.

I love you mom, I hope your birthday is great.

Do's and Dont's

Do... do something that you want for you during the week - your whole week is occupied by doing stuff for others (work, family, friends) so plan something for you.

Don't... wait to do your laundry till the last minute - it would suck if you woke up late and didn't have anything to wear.

Do... enjoy the little things in life.

Don't... allow your purse and car to get cluttered - it sucks when you can never find anything.

Do... be grateful for those you have in your life (and don't) and for all the things you have (and don't)

Don't... be afraid to take risks in life.

Do... go see a movie by yourself sometime. It's fun!

Don't... allow a guy make you feel like shit - if he is worth it he wouldn't want to see you hurt or cry.

Do... believe in yourself - even if you don't - fake it till you make it.